"My wife, seven-year-old, two-year-old and I stayed here for 14 nights at the start of August.
We are fortunate to have stayed in some excellent five-star hotels over the last 10 years, in places such as Jamaica, Dominican Republic, Crete and Turkey (Tui Magic Life, Sarigerme). I am comparing Paloma Perissia with those experiences.
Despite the official ranking, regrettably, fairly early on in our holiday, we did not consider the Paloma Perissia to be a five-star hotel; ultimately, we would therefore not return or recommend the hotel to friends and family. There were some very good things about the hotel, which I'll come on to, but, for us, these were the factors which we found disappointing and not five-star standard:
- air conditioning: there are far too many public areas which lack air conditioning, and that just isn't good enough for a hotel claiming to be five-star. The corridors to the rooms are sweltering, as are the lifts (some of which are very small too). So, you get yourself clean in the evening and then step out of your room into a sauna. It was quite comical to see both guests and staff hanging around the one or two more powerful air-con vents in the hotel; we did it a few times for a little treat. There are also quite a few rather odd spaces in the hotel which could be nice to sit in, but they are hotter than the sun, so they are just quiet, empty zones. Also, worth mentioning that the corridors to our room (91XX) reminded us of a budget hotel, like a Travelodge, with carpeted floors, bland walls and no windows (not to mention the damp smells, as below).
- daily cleaning of room: despite tipping the equivalent of £3 a day, every day, this can fairly be described as basic; none of our things in the ensuite were ever moved, and I'm not sure if the bathroom was ever cleaned more than a quick mop of the floor. There were no nice touches which we've always had in five-star places, like the swan towels or the kids' cuddly toys being tucked up in bed. On most days, we didn't even get coffee sachets, despite asking the maid politely, which isn't good enough for the premium pricing. Another time, our mugs were left dirty and not replaced. Under the beds (where I had to retrieve my son's Lego on several occasions!) were thick with dust.
- tired room: as others have said, the rooms are bland, with no pictures on the wall; the light switches and hair dryer are old and yellow; the TV was a basic Beko model more than 10 years old; the paint work was sloppy (evidently having had a refresh back in 2019, as the hotel is keen to promote), with the two-tone paint not applied in clean lines; the ensuite tiling needs regrouting; the magnifying mirror in the ensuite had a light which didn't work; another light in the bedroom didn't work; the ensuite taps and shower were dull chrome and need a refresh; and, for the first five or six days, there was a whiff of sewage smells in the ensuite, which I imagine was the case in most rooms, given that the hallways also smelled of damp at times. Again, one or two things can be forgiven, but collectively, this is neither luxury nor five-star.
- buffet restaurant: the design of this, with a central circular area for the food and quite narrow lanes, and four seating zones coming off this, basically means that it's a roundabout of chaos, where guests have to battle their way through each night. Maybe it's because we have two young kids and had to go into battle numerous times to get their food, but I came to dread the evening meal. It was far too busy, although we found (late on) that it was marginally better at the opening time of 7pm. Another criticism is that you can't get a teaspoon for love nor money, so feeding a yoghurt pot to our two-year-old was a real treat. Lastly, aside from the chaotic feel of the buffet restaurant, the air conditioning is weak (look up and you'll see about two units), there are lights which don't work, it's a pretty tired and drab area, and fixtures on the walls which have fallen off or on the wonk. The food was good, on the whole, but the place felt more like a canteen than a restaurant, to us.
- public toilets: the gents near the bistro were, again, not what you expect of a five-star place. Of three urinals, one was blocked for most of the two weeks. The floor was almost constantly wet and slippery, despite cleaners occasionally mopping it down, and I had to walk like a penguin whenever I went in there, with fierce concentration required to avoid stacking it (as others did).
- public areas: the floor with the buffet restaurant also has some shops, such as a hairdressers, photographers and opticians, alongside a small bar area. Usually, we like to sit in the bar area near reception, but we found this a little unusual and shabby - like a budget shopping centre - and it didn't have much of an atmosphere.
- towels and linen: beach towels are nearing the end of their useful economic lives, being torn and threadbare in many cases; the same goes for the duvet covers. Not five-star.
Ok, so that's the main criticisms done. Here is what we really liked:
- staff: the hotel is fortunate to have several lovely people working here. Mehmet took good care of us in the Bistro and also Quentine. Ahmet was great in the Bistro, making sure we had plenty to drink and providing crisps, nuts and popcorn. A guy who looks like Dave Spikey from Phoenix Nights (sorry, didn't get his name) in the buffet always took care of us (reserving us a table at breakfast and dinner, and asking if we wanted drinks), and tipping early on definitely helped here, making an otherwise stressful time that bit better. Also, the staff who do the drinks runs around the beach and pool work so hard in such heat (41 degrees at its peak!).
- WhatsApp service: whenever we wanted something (which should have been provided without asking, in truth), such as coffee sachets or water bottles, the response and action was very swift. They also helped with printing some documents for us.
- Bistro: this has the best air con in the hotel, which explains why it gets busy in the evenings, but the service here is exceptional, and there is a good atmosphere. Spent most nights here playing card games until quite late. Good snacks at the back of the Bistro too.
- Quentine restaurant: the lunches here are very good, with things like Mediterranean salads, crispy chicken and rice, and chicken skewers. Great service from the staff too. We had dinner in the a la carte here too, which was good (as was Wabi-sabi).
- drinks quality: the spirits, cocktails and beers are all good, with some decent brands available. Four fun non-alcoholic cocktails for the kids too.
- gardens: these are beautiful, and most days we set up camp under the palm trees, where you could see the sea too. The hotel has beautiful grounds and flowers, but the same cannot be said for the inside.
- pools: the three pools were great for the kids, with varying depths.
- spa: my wife enjoyed a one-hour massage here at a competitive price.
Overall, we did enjoy our holiday, but we genuinely don't consider this to be a five-star hotel because there are too many grumbles for us. I am surprised that so many have awarded it five-star reviews on here, but I guess it comes down to expectations and experiences of other hotels - Paloma Perissia is nowhere close to other five-star hotels we've stayed at. 3.5 stars out of 5 for us."
