"Stayed for a week All Inclusive. Will break the review into Pros and cons. Sorry for the long review / hotel feedback but this hotel needs it.
Postives
1. Initial check swift with all info given. Room was ready early and staff polite.
2. Free garage parking (Check in first to obtain room key which opens underground parking down the hill to left of Hotel. You can leave your car outside the hotel while you check-in)
3. All staff are working incredibly hard and were all friendly.
4. Standard room was spacious. Large bed (2 together), bath and shower. Cleaned every day. Couple of free soft drinks in the fridge, albeit not sugar free. Plenty of sockets, including some USB A. Storage good.
5. Outdoor areas kept nice including both pools.
6. Buffet breakfast and lunch had plenty of selection for most.
7. Location - Access to promenade (through black gate by pool) and 20 minute brisk walk to Funchal. Perfectly fine.
Negatives - Theres a few!
General hotel:
- The vibe here leans heavily toward the senior crowd. If you’re on the younger side, you'll definitely feel like you've accidentally checked into a care home.
- Check out swift. However nothing asked about my stay.
- It's all a bit beige. No vibe, not much effort has been made.
- Lifts get busy and are slow - There are stairs next to the lifts but doors are at not clearly marked. A simple 'Stairs' sign would make a difference.
- You will burn yourself. At the buffet - Either by picking up an extremely hot plate or lifting the lid off the beans and touching the heating element. In the shower - The water is extremely hot and you can easily accidentally knock the mixer to full heat. This is potentially very dangerous to young kids or older folk. (I done all 3 BTW).
- Staff work hard. However, plates are taken as soon as you are chewing your last bit of food. They appear from nowhere and it makes it more manic. (mild negative)
- Entertainment. Borefest. It's probably aimed at its main audience and was very low rent. Disclaimer - We didn't see every performer.
Food & Drink:
- Evening buffet is very repetitive. They have themed nights but generally the food is very similar, bland and meats overcooked. It's also very busy!
- Three restaurants (Asian, Italian & Madeiran) - All set menu. We only dined at the Asian. Food was 'nice enough', get what you're given. Service was very rushed towards the end. There was one sitting, two nights a week (which perhaps changes as it gets busier). A first come first served basis so no reservations. This means someone could go both nights, selfishly stopping others. People were queuing before the opening time and seats were quite limited.
- Cafe. This is a poolside buffet that virtually serves the same food as the main lunch buffet but at extended times. A few extras like pizza and burgers. Its a missed opportunity, it should have nice sandwiches, wraps, cakes, juices and Special coffees.
- Drinks (Biggest complaint) - Probably the worst for choice and quality we have ever had at a hotel. Menus available in the Piano bar and Sports bar. Every drink we tried was awful. Cocktails - Pre mixed crap. Incorrect proportions of alcohol use. Shorts - limited choice, way too much alcohol used. Staff have absolutely no idea. Lager served in half glasses as was most drinks. Even getting a diet soft drink was difficult.
Summary.
It's not 5 Star, 4 at best. Not for younger couples. More suited to Older folk and perhaps families that are happy with a large pool and buffet. If you like nice drinks, look elsewhere - trust me.
Staff are a credit but badly managed. You'll notice a manager walking about messing with things that don't need attention. He should be trying the food and drink.
Although my review has many negatives, the room was comfortable and relaxing and it wasn't that expensive to stay. Hopefully the hotel can realise its potential.
Tips.
Car hire - Roads a very good around the island but get an auto due to the very steep hills. Avoid EV's for this reason.
If you fancy an Indian - Visit Indian Palace across the road from this hotel. Food was tasty. Afterwards, have a cocktail or 2 at Lidos Tavern. Great cocktails, service and value for money.
Geckos / lizards love banana.
Micro climates - Weather varies massively around the island. Pack accordingly.
Airport - go to your get asap. Passport queues at time of writing were and hour long with new regulations."
