"It is genuinely difficult to convey just how disappointed — and frankly astonished — we were by both the standard of this accommodation and the price charged for it.
The room is advertised as a “Spa Room”, complete with references to “unlimited spa access.” This creates certain expectations. Unfortunately, reality appears to have taken a completely different booking.
The overall standard of the room was, in our opinion, little more than one step above the sort of basic accommodation you might find in a heavily tourist-focused resort in Benidorm — only without the sunshine, beach or sangria to soften the blow.
The feature apparently responsible for elevating our room to “Spa Room” status was what can only be described as a large bubble bath positioned in the corner of the bedroom. Romantic spa luxury it was not. It did, however, look as though it could provide a suitably ambitious location for Bonnie Blue’s next endurance challenge.
The much-promoted “unlimited spa access” was similarly impressive. This appears to consist primarily of access to a sauna and wet-room area located elsewhere in the building on the second floor. Perhaps another potential filming location, should the bedroom bubble bath already be booked.
Calling this a spa experience feels rather generous. Calling it a spa hotel experience requires considerably more imagination than we possess.
Breakfast, incidentally, is not included in the already substantial room rate.
Should you decide to pay extra for it, prepare yourself for something closer to a canteen-style dining experience, shared with groups enthusiastically embarking upon their own version of the “Amsterdam experience”.
The particularly frustrating part is that there are hotels in the immediate area offering noticeably better rooms, facilities and service — at lower prices.
And then there are the thoughtful little touches.
The room contains a kettle.
Excellent.
Tea? No.
Coffee? No.
Milk? No.
Cups? Also no.
So essentially, what you are provided with is an ornamental kettle. About as useful as a chocolate fireguard.
Then we come to the advertised soundproofing.
At approximately 2am, the occupants of the room above appeared to begin rehearsals for Riverdance directly on the wooden floor. If the room was soundproofed, nobody had informed the ceiling.
Sleep therefore became less of an expectation and more of an aspirational concept.
There is also a rather enthusiastic alarm fitted to the bedroom door. Should you fail to shut the door completely, you are rewarded with a high-pitched warning noise.
In fairness, this could perhaps be considered a public service in Amsterdam: particularly useful for guests returning after sampling some of the city’s attractions who may be too intoxicated to remember the complicated process of… closing a door.
The photographs attached to our review show the reality of what we actually arrived to.
This is not simply a case of a hotel failing to meet our personal tastes. In our opinion, there is a substantial difference between the way the accommodation and facilities are presented during the booking process and the experience actually delivered.
And finally, customer service.
Hotels occasionally get things wrong. That happens. What normally makes the difference is how the staff respond when a guest raises a genuine concern.
A little interest, empathy and communication can rescue an otherwise disappointing experience.
Unfortunately, none of those appeared to be included in our room rate either.
Instead, we encountered a remarkable combination of indifference, poor communication and what can best be described as a very strong “not my problem” approach to hospitality.
Perhaps the biggest luxury missing from this particular “Spa Room” was customer service.
In summary: expensive, considerably oversold, underwhelming facilities, questionable soundproofing, a decorative kettle, and a spa experience that requires a very liberal interpretation of the word “spa”.
Amsterdam is an excellent city.
Thankfully, there are plenty of other hotels in it."
