"My wife and I popped into the Palm Court Hotel in Aberdeen yesterday for what we hoped would be a pleasant late lunch/early dinner. We usually sit in the actual restaurant on midweek visits, but this time we were firmly directed to the bar. Fair enough, except neither of us drinks, so it felt a bit like being seated in the naughty corner of a Wetherspoons.
We were handed two menus… which were then placed on the bar for us like we were expected to levitate over and collect them ourselves. Minor detail.
The menu proudly advertised a “Market Menu – 2 courses for £20.” Sounds straightforward, right? We made our selections accordingly, only to be told we actually needed to order from a “separate set menu.” A different menu was duly produced. We chose from that one too, and were then informed it was out of date. They disappeared and returned with… exactly the same menu. When we politely pointed this out, they finally produced the correct version. At this point we were already exhausted and considering just ordering a bag of crisps from the bar instead.
We both went for the salmon and dill fishcakes with hollandaise as our starter. They arrived promptly, which was nice. Less nice was the realisation that we had apparently ordered premium Birds Eye fishcakes (or their sophisticated cousin). One solitary fishcake each. The hollandaise sauce deserves a medal for making them almost edible.
For mains, my wife ordered the mac and cheese. I opted for the garlic mushroom pesto gnocchi, imagining something fresh and virtuous. What arrived instead for me was a plate of what can only be described as “vomit-coloured chicken curry with surprise peas.” I gently mentioned I’d ordered the gnocchi. Ten minutes later, the correct dish appeared. The gnocchi had clearly been to the gym – deep-fried to within an inch of its life. It tasted fine, if “bland” counts as a flavour profile. Definitely not the healthy option the menu had romantically suggested.
Throughout the entire saga, there was no real apology, no discount, and no sense that anyone was particularly bothered by the comedy of errors unfolding in front of them.
All in all, it was an experience. If you fancy a game of menu roulette, some frozen fishcakes, and the occasional surprise curry, Palm Court Hotel’s bar is the place for you. Just bring your own sense of humour… and maybe your own dinner.
Would I return? Only if they start serving the hollandaise sauce as a main course with a side of better service.
Rating: 2/5 (one star for the hollandaise hero, one for the sheer entertainment value)"
