"I must start by saying this is one of the oldest hotels in Funchal, possibly the oldest after Reids. It is, unfortunately, surrounded by concrete monstrosities with all white and grey drab rooms that could be anywhere in the world. The Quinta de Penha da Franca is, thankfully, not one of those hotels and most of the rooms are not overlooked by these aforementioned behemoths and cannot be seen from them.
This review is for the Quinta de Penha da Franca, and NOT the sister hotel; the Quinta de Penha da Franca Mar. Some seem to mix these hotels up, so make sure you book the right one. The “Mar” is, as the name suggests, the newer block next to the sea and not the older Manor House with associated gardens, though you can use the facilities of both, whichever one you end up in.
But the whole point of this Quinta (the Manor House) is its old-world charm. Think Agatha Christie, Miss Marple and Poirot. Okay, it’s not that old-fashioned, but if you are looking for a quaint hotel rather than a soulless concrete block, this is one to think about.
What you will find here is a more typical Madeiran hotel. The 109 rooms are individual, decorated much as you'd expect with antique furniture rather than with minimal Ikea style furniture. The beds are comfortable enough. They have lots of room types to choose from, from rooms with a simple view of the gardens, through to bungalows and suites with balconies and terraces. There is a new-ish block with garden and sea views up for grabs too. Due to the sensible amount of rooms, the service you receive is okay, but here is where things could be improved upon. Do make sure the room you want has the facilities you need, for example some of the garden rooms with terraces do not have a bath.
As for the air-conditioning, it's largely useless. Our October dates saw 25 degrees and sleeping was uncomfortable even when set to maximum.
I would say if you are young in years, you probably won’t want to stay at this hotel, but for us oldies looking for originality, more interested in the history of a building that how close it is to a night club or the nearest pub, or if it has a spa and nail bar (it doesn’t), it could work for you.
Position
Positives - Located close to the port near the coast, it’s well positioned. A fairly easy 1.5km amble to the old town with all its wonderful restaurants and shops. It’s a 30 minute flat walk along the coast to the cable car from which you can get to the Botanical Gardens and Monte Palace.
Negatives - Proximity to the harbour when the cruise ships dock can be a touch noisy, though most ships arrive at around 8am and leave at 5pm, so it’s very unlikely to endanger your sleep! We saw ships come and go, but accepted its the hustle and bustle of a city and enjoy watching them dock with all its excited passengers and you’ll be fine. Despite other reviews suggesting its near a waste water plant, it's definitely not.
Food - We only had breakfast here as we do normally prefer the idea of eating out, and actively avoid all-inclusive hotels. However, pickings were slim. We prefer a breakfast of fruit and yoghurt, and perhaps toast and pastries. Sadly the fruit offerings were limited, and in many cases inedible with much of the fruit on the edge of rotting. Most curiously was on an island renowned for their bananas, not one was on offer at breakfast. Pastries were mini versions of pain au chocolates, croissant and other unknown offerings. Only one day in the 13 we were there there was a mini Pastel de Nata. There was fresh bread though, although why some people insisted on turning off the toaster when they were finished was beyond me! Coffee was courtesy of a machine, it was bean coffee but as always it was never what you could call the best. Juice was best ignored as it was basically machine dispensed squash.
There is fried eggs and omelettes offered, but you weren’t really told about them, you found out by accident. But again, best ignored as the chef’s cooked them, but they sat on the serving hatch going cold long before you actually got them.
There was “bacon” and “sausages” but not how the British imagine these to be. There was always scrambled eggs, but of course suffer from the usual solidifying when anything but fresh.
Serving staff wafted around popping plates and cutlery on the table you chose, and cleared quickly, but often forgot about the hot food going cold on the outdoor serving hatch.
And then there are the pigeons on the terrace. They would steal the food from your plate. Some of the bravest would do so while you sat there. The serving staff would try to shoo them off, usually unsuccessfully. Frankly this is nature, so if this does offend you’d be best eating indoors.
Room - Tricky this. Adequate I guess would best describe. As ever the cleaning staff do an impeccable job, but the bathrooms need a deep clean and refresh. I’m a bit house proud, so the mould agents are out at the merest hint of a problem with the grouting! This is not the fault of the cleaning girls, more a fault of the owners, specifically the manager. Yes there is a budget of course, but even the newest of managers know that if the facilities shine, so too the bookings as the review sites mirror the hotel which in turn produces more clients.
Staffing - Both ends of the scale here. There were helpful reception staff, but there were indifferent ones too. Our welcome was basic, and mainly based around the tourist tax we must pay as well as the additional payment for the better room we asked for. None of this was a problem, but “with a smile” would have made check-in so much better. We were pointed to the lift but were not told about the pools, how to access the “Mar” part of the hotel, how to get back in the the “Quinta” part, about pool towels, the room safe or in fact anything more. We only found out too late that our 3am check-out could be made more pleasant with a breakfast box, again, a shame we weren’t informed about this on check-in.
In short, Reception staff really could use some basic training on customer service, and to simply cheer up a bit as the constant huffing and puffing at anything but the most basic of tasks is a bit off-putting.
And for goodness sakes, attention to detail please; there are still signs up advising to use alcohol hand sanitiser and the wearing of masks. COVID is not over, I realise that, but you could at least take the signs down as they're not required any more. It’s tiny things like this that let the place down, its as if all the staff are blind to the obvious problems that, if all were dealt with, may only take a few hours and would make all the difference.
Facilities - Basic, but functional. The top pool had (for some reason) a dozen or so sunbeds, but only one parasol. I rather think as they break, they simply don’t get replaced. Of course there is more sunbeds down at the Mar hotel, but occasionally you will share the pool with practicing SCUBA divers.
There is a bar and restaurant, but we didn’t utilise it. What might have been sensible would be to supply a menu in the rooms, it might have persuaded my to eat there if I knew where the restaurant was, what was available and even if we were able to go.
The grounds are well kept, but again need a little more TLC than just weeding, watering and mowing. A couple of walls were in need of immediate maintenance, but by the looks of things have needed this “immediate maintenance” for several months if not years already!
As for the rest, who knows. There is a nice lounge area near Reception, but no idea if there was a gym, sauna or in fact anything else. This could be our fault, but frankly hotels are a means to an end for our daily explorations, walks, hikes and so-on, so we weren’t too bothered.
There is car parking, but it’s at a premium as staff appear to use most spaces.
Would we go again?
Actually yes, we would. Despite this hotel’s faults, I prefer this style of hotel over the larger concrete constructs. The scrum at mealtimes we’ve done and finished with. I would prefer an AirBnB over a large hotel any day. If you want a “beach” or rather pool holiday, yes, head for the Lido hotels, but bear in mind it will be a good 30-45+ minute walk to the the best bit on Funchal which is the Old Town.
But I’m sad to say I wonder if the hotel’s days are numbered. I fear it is being sold as we saw an oddly out of place group being shown around one day. Our hope is that, if true, they will throw money at it, but I fear it may be knocked down and a new building replacing it, but that is just a guess on my part. As a hotel, the Penha de Franca could outReid, Reids if it wanted, but sadly, just now, it’s struggling to keep up with the likes of Travelodge.
Warning - Construction is about to begin on a concert venue just over the road from the hotel, things could begin getting noisy very soon."
