"When we arrived in the Kalkan we immediately noticed how steep and rough the roads were, with the hotel quite a distance from the main town. On arrival, we were greeted by a young girl sitting behind a desk who gave us a smile but didn’t actually say a word. Reception was very small, with just two seats occupied by two sleeping dogs, with their food and water bowls on the floor. It was all very Schitt’s Creek! Without saying a word, the receptionist handed us a form to fill in with our name, address and details. I handed over our passports, she gave us a key and spoke to a man who then showed us to our room.
The rooms are all standalone units, giving the place more of a motel feel than a hotel. Nobody explained anything to us on arrival. We weren’t told about breakfast, shown where anything was, informed that room service was available or given the Wi-Fi code. We were pretty much left to work things out for ourselves.
Our room was spacious and clean, and the view was amazing. We had paid extra for a room with a swim-up pool, which turned out to be a complete waste of money in October. The water was absolutely freezing, so we couldn’t use it at all. I can imagine how lovely these rooms would be during the hotter months, though. The views around the hotel are beautiful, and the beach and jetty area are idyllic, with gorgeous, clear turquoise blue water. However, the hotel itself is looking tired. Although it appeared to have had a fresh coat of paint this year, the rooms could definitely do with some updating. There was laminate peeling off cupboards, dirty marks inside drawers and watermarks on the stainless steel in the bathroom. There were also empty kitchen units in the corner of our room, which seemed rather odd. What was the point of having them if there was nothing in them to use? Perhaps there had been a functioning kitchenette at one time. There was also a huge sign in reception stating that no food could be brought into the hotel from outside. This seemed particularly strange when there is nowhere to eat within walking distance and the hotel restaurant was so disappointing. It did make us wonder whether guests were being encouraged to spend their money in the hotel restaurant rather than bring their own food in.
The maids did a good job of keeping the floors clean, the towels were clean, and our bedding was changed once during our week long stay. However, the hotel could certainly benefit from some investment and attention. You can imagine how beautiful and special this place must have been 20 or 30 years ago, but it now feels as though it needs some updating.
The bed was very uncomfortable. We had one rough cotton cover on the bed rather than a proper sheet, and it wasn’t even big enough to fit the bed properly. We asked reception for another one so that we could at least have one each. This was October, and temperatures dropped to around 10°C /14 °C at night. The room was cold, and the air conditioning didn’t produce any warm air, which made us think it was broken. The mattress looked reasonably new, but we could feel the springs digging into our backs. I have been home for 3 days now and my hips still feel bruised. Honestly, I’ve slept on more comfortable camp beds! On the positive side, the shower had good water pressure.
Location
The views are lovely, but anyone who struggles with hills, steep slopes or steps really needs to think carefully before booking this hotel.
Kulube is roughly a mile from Kalkan town, but this is certainly not a leisurely stroll. The hills are incredibly steep, and the roads and pavements are uneven. For us, getting a taxi into and out of town was essential. There is nothing within walking distance of the hotel, so you can’t simply pop out for a meal or a drink.
There are also a lot of steps within the hotel itself. You go down steps to the first pool, then further down to the beach bar and breakfast area, followed by more steps to the restaurant and then even more down to the jetty. Some of the steps were looking worn, uneven and starting to crumble.
Breakfast and food
Breakfast was poor and very repetitive. The selection consisted of cucumber, tomatoes, two types of Turkish meat, one of which was extremely salty, a couple of cheeses, some cereal, yoghurt and a choice of cherry jam. The butter tasted more like greasy margarine. There was toast and some very dry seeded rolls. There was filter coffee, but no English breakfast tea, which seemed odd given that most of the guests appeared to be British. There were no croissants or decent pastries.
The hot food was limited to hard boiled eggs, which were dry, and chorizo. On some days, mushrooms were served instead of the chorizo. By the middle of our week, we really couldn’t face the same breakfast any longer. We did ask for a freshly cooked omelette one morning, but it was so greasy that we didn’t bother asking again.
Another thing we noticed was that the breakfast tables didn’t appear to be wiped down properly. Stains remained on the tables throughout our entire week, which gave the impression that they weren’t being cleaned thoroughly between guests.
Unfortunately, because there are no other places to eat within walking distance, you’re pretty much stuck with what the hotel offers unless you take a taxi into town.
We ate in the hotel restaurant once, but even that was disappointing. They got our order wrong, bringing the wrong beers and salads, and the food was average at best. The chicken was chewy, almost as though it had been defrosted too quickly.
Kalkan town
We stayed a couple of weeks before the end of the season, so both the hotel and Kalkan itself were very quiet.
Kalkan seemed to be mainly British holidaymakers. It wasn’t quite Brits Abroad, but it was getting close! If you’re looking for somewhere with a distinctly Turkish feel and plenty of local character, Kalkan might not be quite what you expect.
Kalkan has plenty of restaurants, but after visiting a few, we found that they all seemed to offer much the same menu. Most of the restaurants are on rooftops, which I can imagine would be wonderful during the summer. However, at the end of October, it was a very different experience. One evening, we were absolutely freezing, wearing jeans and several layers while the cold wind whipped around us. Even two members of restaurant staff were wearing padded jackets with their hoods up!
There are a few shops in Kalkan, mainly bag shops and shops selling cheap copies of football shirts.
Overall verdict
As you can probably tell, our stay at the Kulube Hotel wasn’t what we had hoped for.
The hotel has some real positives: the beautiful views, the clear turquoise sea, the idyllic jetty and beach area, and the spacious, clean rooms.
However, visiting in October really highlighted the hotel’s shortcomings. The cold room, uncomfortable bed, disappointing breakfast, average restaurant food, tables that didn’t appear to be cleaned properly, lack of a welcoming introduction on arrival and the need to take taxis everywhere all added up to a less than enjoyable stay. The extra money we paid for a swim-up pool was wasted, as it was far too cold to use.
The empty kitchen units and the sign prohibiting outside food were also puzzling, especially given the limited dining options nearby and our experience of the hotel restaurant. The hotel feels tired and in need of updating, and although the setting is beautiful, the overall experience didn’t live up to our expectations.
Sadly, I wouldn’t recommend the Kulube Hotel, particularly for an October stay. If you visit in the height of summer, you may have a very different experience, but for us, it simply wasn’t the holiday we had hoped for."
