"This starts at the very first moment we arrive. No valet. We were told to drop our luggage off at the entry point, drive the car to the parking lot then walk back to the reception under the scorching sun in near 40°C heat.
Moving on to the reception part. We're requested to provide ID and payment, and then we're told by a gentleman called Mourad that we were "granted a free upgrade" to a better Bungalow. Thing is, that was nice but expected as I requested a little something special since this was my wife and I's anniversary.
We get picked up in the golf caddy they use to drive guests *the first time* and the driver shows us the various amenities. We make it to our bungalow and it is the literal same as we booked. Perhaps even worse. We find no towels, no toilet paper, the minibar is literally empty. We check the "garden view" and it's ant infested. Ants are also inside. The view is of yellow dead grass. Maybe 1 or 2 potted plants with flowers. Two plastic chairs you'd expect to find in a traditional populist café in a neighbourhood in Tunisia. TV in the bedroom (more like a bed plus 50 cm to move around) has no remote. Keep this in mind as it is important.
I call Sofiene (guest relations) asking for a remote for said TV. He says it's on the way. 2 hours pass by, we go to the beach, come back, shower, change, head out to dinner. Nothing. Not a peep.
Dinner was packed. The pictures lied to us. I'll save you reading time by telling you that over our four-day stay the buffet was more or less the same throughout lunch and dinner (obviously breakfast was different as it was sugar-based) with minor changes such as chicken changing into fish and mashed potatoes becoming roasted potatoes. It was very underwhelming and was extremely understaffed with lines waiting for a beef patty for over 15 minutes while the rest of the food on our plates cooled off, became soggy and near inedible.
Better yet, after my very first dining experience I caught a stomach bug that's been causing incessant intestinal issues a week after with ongoing treatment.
We had the all-inclusive package, which in theory included alcohol. What we were served was watered down, tasted horribly, and there were like 3 cocktails and the local beer on tap which had a very nasty metallic tang to it. This metallic tang also applied to soft drinks like Coca Cola. We even offered to buy the exclusive drinks, but they were the same brand (no-name local alcohol that tasted extremely sour and did aboslutely nothing to ensure a buzz); the one bar where one could get anything even resembling decency was the reception lounge. But as we could not smoke inside, it was not worth it. The heat would have made the drinks tepid to warm in lttle under 2 minutes.
The pools: the hotel touts 3 different pools. Truth is, two of them are kid-oriented, no deeper than 80cm. The "Olympic Pool" still had throngs of children splashing around, screaming, and causing all sorts of ruckus. Not to mention the repetitive, tedious, and quite frankly embarrassing "animation" the staff have to provide. Same dance, same ball game, same playlist all day, every day. In addition to that, people would reserve sunbeds and parasols with odd tidbits of clothing, towels, even sunglasses, then go about their day only to come back towards the very end. This goes against the supposed hotel policy, but nobody bats an eye.
Now, you've probably forgotten about the TV remote. Let's go back. First day, no TV remote. Second day, we call and call and call, and we're talked to in a very curt manner and told that it's on the way. We have to schlep back to the reception to ask for it directly. Mourad takes a very curt tone with us, clearly dismissive. He ends up calling the head of tech services who promptly ignores his phone call as he's passing right in front of him. He hails him and tells him about the remote. We get told it's right on the way. We go back to our bungalow, clear the ants off the cabins and our clothing, and sit waiting. It arrives after 2 hours. It's for a different TV brand. I tell them that, they tell me they'll be right back. Nothing.
Next day, we call again, go again. This time they do bring a TV Remote. It's for the correct brand, Hallelujah. One would think we can finally lay on the bed and watch something. Nope. Dead wrong. The TV was not smart. It was not connected to anything. Not even the local channels or a satellite. We basically fought for a remote for over 3 days just to sit and watch a black screen.
We gave up and decided to watch TV on the couch. We called, requesting room service. We were told it did not exist. There simply is no room service. This is a blatant lie, as we saw all around us, non-Tunisian guests having alcohol bottles, food plates brought in, and taken out during the cleaning service. It simply does not exist for Tunisian guests. This in itself was very bothersome to us. I mean what 5-star hotel does not have room service? Much worse, what 5-star hotel provides room service based on the nationality?
I apologize for this running long, but I had to get this off my chest. Please, make sure you know where you're going, and don't book in here. Especially if you are Tunisian. You will truly feel like a second class citizen in your own country."
