"Dreaming of a vacation? So were we. And we chose this “outstanding” hotel.
If you’re ready for an adventure where the main prize is your own patience, this place is for you.
Check-in: The Bathroom Challenge
You arrive after a long journey. The first natural need — a restroom.
But here comes the surprise: the lobby bathroom is locked and the key will only be available at 3 PM.
What is the administration hiding? No idea. But after finally getting inside, suspicions start to form…
The Room: A Trip to the 70s With a Nightly Soundtrack
They hand you the keys with a smile. You go up to the room and discover that instead of a sea view — the most expensive category — you get a front-row view of a karaoke bar that will “delight” you with vocals until 2 AM.
Complain? At reception they politely shrug: “Sorry, many arrivals, maybe tomorrow we’ll change something.”
Complaints are written into a shabby notebook — either computers are in short supply, or they are really committed to the 70s aesthetic.
And that aesthetic lives in every detail of the room:
Furniture: should have been thrown out twenty years ago.
Air conditioner: controlled by a four-position switch; doesn’t cool, just blows.
Bathroom: about 50 cm long — difficult to fit even standing if you’re of average build.
Safe: mechanical key, as if you’re in a Soviet hotel for foreign tourists.
Beds: narrow, on wheels, impossible to push together.
Mini-bar: empty. They will fill it with soft drinks for a modest 55 euros.
The Hotel’s “Feature”: The Local Wildlife
The real hosts here are cockroaches. They visit regularly, and flattened ones can lie around for weeks.
Housekeeping apparently doesn’t handle those.
Public Areas: The Genius of Cost-Cutting
Heading to dinner, you notice the carpet in the hallways: worn through to holes, carefully taped over with duct tape.
Soundproofing? Nonexistent. Balcony doors don’t close properly.
But don’t worry — there’s an all-inclusive bar. By 2 AM you won’t care what they’re singing outside.
Nightmare Night & Morning Hell
If you somehow fall asleep despite the karaoke — don’t expect rest.
At 6 AM the morning “concert” begins: lawnmowers, high-pressure pumps — you’re a guest, remember?
Want to breathe morning ocean air? Too bad: exits to the property are locked from midnight to 8:30 AM.
The only alternative route is through the nightlife area — covered with the consequences of last night’s parties.
Beach Service: They Charge Even for a Towel
Thinking of getting a beach towel? Surprise: you need a deposit, and every exchange for a clean one costs 1 euro.
No wonder most guests bring their own.
If you find a sunbed that isn’t broken and decide to swim — the desire disappears once you see the pool bottom: dozens of patched but unpainted spots.
But at least there’s one toilet near the pool you can enter without a key — a true event!
There are also washing machines — 5 euros per load. How often do you see that?
Room Change: A Victory With Embarrassing Conditions
They eventually agree to give you the room you actually paid for — not the one they failed to resell.
An hour of negotiations, but success!
Except… you must leave your current room at 12:00, and the new one won’t be ready before 13:00.
Where should you go for that hour?
Luggage Room: A Security Threat Disguised as a Room
The luggage room is just a room.
You carry your things in and… that’s it. No staff. Stay there as long as you want.
So reviews about stolen electronics are anything but exaggerated.
Verdict
We could go on, but we’re exhausted.
This hotel is a perfect guide on how management can turn a vacation into the worst experience in Tenerife.
You definitely don’t need this place. Save your money and your sanity."