"I have chosen to delete my original review and rewrite it, as the management response from the hotel to my original review was far from satisfactory and condescending and misleading. I found their attitude dismissive and patronising and not forth coming in acknowledging the truth, but rather fobbing yet another guest off. Why mislead the guests just sort out basic operational issues.?
If you intend to do any remote work from your room, I hope you enjoy the "lack of wifi or buffering" screen, because the Wi-Fi is entirely nonexistent. While the management team was quick to deploy their favorite copy-paste response—claiming that widespread connectivity issues are "unusual" and that my comment "particularly caught their attention"—the reception staff in the Royal area singing a different tune. They openly admitted to a technical issue. Sadly, a two-week stay was apparently not quite enough time for the tech team to investigate this highly "unusual" anomaly that numerous other guests have also documented.
Fine Dining and Retro Time Travel
The main buffet food was decent, though it quickly adopted the monotonous charm typical of all-inclusive packages. Eager for variety, we attempted the a la carte restaurants, which advertise a rotating nightly culinary theme. Instead, we were treated to a stunning journey back to 1970s décor, underwhelming food, and severely overstretched staff. When we tried to book a table for 7:30 PM, we were told they were "fully booked." Upon arriving for our 8:00 PM slot, we discovered a bustling crowd of exactly four indoor tables and three outdoor tables being occupied. It turns out "fully booked" is management-speak for "we only scheduled two front-of-house staff members."
When I dared to mention the repetitive food in my initial feedback, management gracefully responded that they were "somewhat surprised by my perception," as other guests simply love the rotation. I apologize that my personal, firsthand experience failed to align with your preferred narrative, but I can only review the reality of what was served.
The "Premium" Poolside Experience
For a premium tier, the amenities are remarkably adventurous. Guests can choose between broken sunbeds badly patched up with protruding sharp metal, or double sunbeds featuring splitting plastic covers.
Furthermore, the hotel’s "No Reserving Sunbeds" signs function beautifully as poolside decoration, as they are completely ignored by guests and management alike. The local custom involves staking out territory in the early hours of the morning using a "statutory hotel towel" and a book. These empty fortresses then sit abandoned for three to five hours before their owners gracefully descend in the afternoon. Despite complaints, management masterfully executed their policy of doing absolutely nothing to enforce their own rules.
Customer Relations: Fiction Over Fact
In response to my overall feedback, management assured me that they "continuously work on maintenance to preserve quality standards." If these protruding metal shards are your standard, you are succeeding wildly.
What was most impressive, however, was the hotel's public reply on TripAdvisor, which creatively claimed we had merely "upgraded" from the standard hotel to the Royal area. We did no such thing; we paid the premium upfront. It is fascinating that management has the time to invent fictional booking histories online, yet lacks the time to provide a direct, genuine response to constructive guest feedback.
Final Verdict
The Royal Occidental is sitting on a goldmine of missed potential. The formula for success is not a state secret:
Fix the Wi-Fi so it exists outside of management's imagination.
Replace the hazardous sunbeds and actually enforce your own pool rules.
Hire enough staff so your current employees aren't run ragged.
Elevate the food to match the "Royal" marketing.
If you are going to charge a premium for a "Royal" experience, you should probably ensure your guests don't leave feeling like they've paid extra for an economy-class headache."
