"My Honest Review of Meliá Llana in Sal, Cape VerdeHotel Grounds & The Level RoomsBeautiful Property: The hotel grounds and overall property layout are absolutely beautiful.The Level Upgrade: This suite was a great size and featured two fridges that were consistently well-stocked and regularly replenished. We also enjoyed a huge balcony and a lovely view looking out across the pools and toward the sea in the distance. However beautiful it was, we actually paid for an oceanfront room right on the beach. Despite phoning the day before to confirm our reservation (having read other reviews experiencing the exact same issue), we arrived at 8:00 pm after a full and exhausting day of travel to be told there was no room secured for us. There was absolutely no apology for this mishap, nor any reasonable explanation given, and it seems to be a common occurrence. Whilst we enjoyed the upgraded room, it’s not what we booked and paid for. It remains concerning that they seem to overbook their rooms, yet make no apologies or give any plausible explanations. It was purely good fortune that they had a Level room available. For this reason alone, I wouldn’t use the Meliá hotel group again, and Tui probably has a lot to answer for in this respect too, in all fairness.Severe Room Safety Hazard: There is a major health and safety issue with the stairs in the Level room at the bedroom level. The two corner steps at the top are very difficult to navigate in the middle of the night when trying to use the bathroom. They are not properly marked to show the curve. Despite leaving a light on, I nearly missed the second step, almost falling a couple of times. This is a genuine safety risk and makes these specific rooms a poor choice for anyone with mobility issues.WARNING FOR OCEANVIEW ROOMS: Because our booked Oceanview room was unavailable, we were placed in a Level Suite next to reception—the furthest point away from the beach. Having seen where the Oceanview rooms are actually located, the marketing photos are very misleading. They are not right on the sand as portrayed. Furthermore, the ground-floor rooms have a three-foot perimeter hedge blocking the view, so you cannot actually see the beach unless you are standing up on the balcony area. However, the biggest issue is the noise. These rooms are located right next to a live bar. On our last night, even though we were staying on the complete opposite side of the resort, we could clearly hear the DJ and music blaring all night. There appear to be no noise restrictions here, and the music continued until 6:00 am! For this reason, I was actually thankful for the hotel's blunder in overbooking our original room. The noise level directly outside the Oceanview rooms would have been utterly unbearable.Staff & Customer ServiceThe majority of our interactions with the staff fell below what we expected from a 5-star hotel; customer service simply doesn't seem to be a priority here. The pool bar staff generally look miserable, like they’d rather not be there, and almost seem to go out of their way to not help or serve you when you are standing right in front of them. The service at the pool bar was the slowest and worst of the entire trip. All the staff, whether serving drinks or food at the pool bar, looked utterly miserable all of the time. I don't think I ever asked for a drink and received it there and then, with the exception of Harleson on the last day—it's a shame he wasn’t serving there every day!The staff always found a reason to turn on their heel right after taking an order to go back to the kitchen, usually because they never had enough clean glasses available. Beer is served in the tiniest of glasses—the smallest is around 200ml. It was incredibly infuriating to stand there being completely ignored with zero acknowledgment, even when there were 6 to 7 staff members standing around the bar. Nobody seemed to muster up the energy to serve or care that they had a waiting customer.The Main Dining Room suffered from a similar lack of effort. God forbid you ask a water server or a table setter to bring a beer or a glass of water. I asked three different staff members for a beer, only to watch them walk away and do absolutely nothing to fetch the drinks. However, when sitting right outside the main restaurant door, rather than at the side, the service seemed much better.With that said, credit must go to:Sambal: One of the youngest staff members at the main restaurant. This young gentleman stood out by a mile. He could teach many of the older, "more experienced" staff how to provide customer service. Sambal was always smiling, made great eye contact, and would go completely out of his way to help you, even if he wasn't the exact person assigned to the task.Ahmed: He is probably the hardest worker at the hotel; he never stops. He walks around and services the middle pool area and was incredibly helpful. He constantly checked in to see if we needed a drink and brought everything directly to our sun loungers, saving us from having to endure being ignored at the pool bar. On his days off, when he was replaced by Maxwell, this service completely disappeared.Cristian & Lucia: Fantastic service in the Casa Nostra restaurant.The Animation Team: They are so full of fun and energy—a complete contrast to their serving staff counterparts.The Avenue Bar Staff: Much more attentive and pleasant.Food & DiningThe Buffet: Largely very disappointing. With the exception of incredible desserts, an exceptionally cooked roast turkey and pork, and a delicious bolognese, the food here was below par. To be honest, it was the main disappointment of the holiday and had a massive "canteen" feel to it.Casa Nostra & The Grill at Vida Pura: Thank God we had these meal options. I feared the worst after reading reviews from some folk saying the Italian food was the same as the buffet, but this is absolutely not the case. Everything here is made to order, offering a completely different quality and experience altogether. Their pepperoni pizza was delicious and easily the best meal of the holiday. We also had the fillet steak at Vida Pura (the pool bar area at night), which was delicious and great quality food. We enjoyed free-flowing wine in both restaurants without any of the jostling or hassle to get served. It was a great experience from start to finish. Cristian and Lucia at the Italian restaurant were incredibly attentive and made our meal very memorable for all the right reasons.Summary on Dining: The hotel clearly has the quality of food, chefs, and service you’d expect in a 5-star hotel, but seemingly chooses to offer cheaper quality food and cooks for the main buffet. If the service and food there were set to the same level as the à la carte restaurants, it would be a completely different dining experience all round.Pool Areas & Surrounding AreaThe Pools: The first pool is the liveliest, featuring aqua aerobics, the swim-up bar, and lovely music. If you like to relax without the activities and loud music, then the second pool is your friend, as it offers a much quieter and relaxed atmosphere.The Beaches: The beaches are lovely, though we chose to stay by the pool all day.Santa Maria: This was not the "strip" we expected. We went once and never returned. In our opinion, it is barren and not worth the 30-minute walk to get there. While there are some little restaurants, the area is very underdeveloped—much more so than we were led to believe by other reviewers. This place might be more developed in 30 years, but it isn't there yet.Would I Return?No. As I said, the hotel grounds are lovely, but there are some areas that need modernising—such as all the public toilets, for example, which don’t look like they’ve been touched since the hotel was built. This hotel, in our opinion, wasn’t a true 5-star property when compared to other 5-star hotels we’ve stayed in. Largely, the customer service leaves a lot to be desired in some areas, and the surrounding area is just too underdeveloped. I wouldn't return to Cape Verde as a destination overall, though I am glad I've checked it off the bucket list."