"Have stayed at this hotel in the past before twice, before it became an all-inclusive hotel. It was ok, nice stays, priced about ok, however it was tired and needed a facelift for sure. So, when I heard it had 15 million spent on it, I thought I’d love to go back there to see what they’d done with this lovely old-school-architecture 70’s hotel. Although not a fan of all-inclusive, (only option now BTW) when just traveling as a couple, we thought we’d give it a go for 5 days to just warm up in Lanzo and not think about where to eat and drink etc. as reviews looked OK-ish. Now, it is very over-priced before I forget that, in case you don’t read on.
Nothing much had changed on check in and reception (apart from a new casual Asian uniform?), but despite being all inclusive I wasn’t allowed a Cava or a Beer while waiting to do the necessary. The sarcastic response I got was “you can take advantage of the all-inclusive as much as you like soon” — OK, fine (but rude), but many non-inclusive offer this by default so this came across rude and a bit cost-saving after a long flight. What seemed more important to them is trying to sell us up to one of the new villas, no thanks we said, only here for 5 days. Our room wasn’t ready, so we sat outside for a drink half in the shade at the only available dirty table (few options, I’ll get to that). Got a call to say room is ready within 2 mins and was asked if I wanted to upgrade to a villa again, er no, not even seen our room yet.
Rooms have had a facelift, so they are way more pleasant and practical than before has to be said, but there are many original and still very tired features and unfinished corners, especially on the balconies etc. which takes the edge of what they have done which is a shame. I know deck chairs are cheap, but please rethink your target audience here Melia!
As we arrived late afternoon we wanted some food. Alas, no food can be ordered at the pool bar which is an odd concept, hey ho, and you are not allowed to take food by the pool from the inside 24-hour snack bar, so we had to sit inside on our first day on holiday as seating is very limited outside. Very few seats were in the sun outside, it’s such an odd configuration, people where actively moving heavy tables and (broken) chairs into the sunny parts of the outdoor areas that you are “allowed” to eat in.
The inside 24-hour snack bar is OK in theory, good choices I guess, but then I noticed the BIRDS inside! My question to my husband was, how do you think they keep these birds away from the buffet which is connected — the very sad reality is that they simply don’t, biggest issue.
What can I say. We soon noticed the birds were eating the doughnuts at breakfast off the food counters, freely eating the bread at the bread station, they were even sitting on the prepared salad bowls and helping themselves merrily, and even at lunch time pecking away at the hot stations. I’ve NEVER (travelled a lot) seen anything like it and did not see 1 single member of staff in 5 days shoo one single bird away. In what world can this be acceptable, this is a huge health and safety risk. Nobody apart from the guests seamed remotely bothered. From this point onwards I only ate from servers with a lid, food from the tapas restaurant at lunch, or freshly prepared food from the snack bar — no guarantees of course, but at least I’d not visibly seen birds feasting on it beforehand! Or we ate out. The average age in this hotel must me 65-75, range 40-100, if you don’t know the risks of sparrows on food google it.
My all-inclusive band fell off (bad design), the first question at reception was would you like to upgrade to a villa, it’s half price now, er, read the room, no thanks, still. We then got a letter handed to us, inviting for a special free gift at reception, hard to believe the GIFT was an opportunity for an appointment with a hard-sell guy to join the Melia Circle (their membership club) oh purleeze, this is now feeling like time-share sales tactics, just leave us to relax, it’s day 2.
Now onto the al-a-carte restaurants, nothing was available for any night before 9, so it was AKA “The Aviary” morning, noon, and night for us sadly. We got a call one night to say the Italian had a last-minute table available, we went. It was so underwhelming, dirty tablecloth, average food, only house wine included, empty vibes, so how come some much in demand, hmmm. Can’t comment on the rest, could not get in, despite going on wait-lists etc.
The nicest place to eat by far is the Canarian Tapas place (La Graciosa) by the pool for lunch. The staff there are lovely, the menu limited but nice, and far way from the “Aivery canteen”. However, food could be hotter, didn’t try at night so can’t comment.
Onto the serving staff, they were extremely nice people, and helpful, however I did get the vibe not happy in their roles. On day 1 we asked the guy at the pool bar where to get spare pool towels, shrugged and said I dunno, reception maybe (looked like he’d been working there 20-years)? But generally nice in “The Aivery” sorry to keep calling it that, but...
On staff in general, nice personalities, however a HUGE, BUT, which is aimed at to execs, Melia, what is the “new” heart-tab all about (for those who don’t know, it’s an Easten welcome, not a Spanish or European one). We aren’t in the Maldives, it comes across fake (nobody is buying the “transcends culture” philosophy you advertise). You have staff hanging around by doors in reception heart-tapping looking for who to prey on for up-sells, I think many guests would rather you give those staff a bird-catching net, or have them go outside to help a 90-year-old to move a table into the sun where they should be in the first place, this was becoming so cringe after 3 days I can’t even express.
Onto the beach bar which is clearly owned by the hotel. To note, same staff, glasses, wine choice etc., but guess what, those drinks are not included, just 20% off for guests that are not in villas, you have to be kidding me for an “all-inclusive”!
Entertainment staff were really nice, but to give one example of an “activity” let’s go for the wine tasing. It was stale bread and jam, and then you could go to the bar and choose from dry or sweet white wine. That’s not wine tasting, that’s going to the bar via optional breakfast leftovers, and then being poured a glass of what’s free anyway.
Melia executives, please book yourself on a short stay with any 5* Iberostar, fully observes the differences, they are significant from every angle. No I don’t work for them and have no connection, I just know good and bad, but honestly so disappointed by the bad here I’m out of energy to list the good for you here, sorry.
I guess if you are honest, you know I have a point already. I have way more issues with this stay, but probably out of characters soon. Remember it takes a lot for someone to take the time to do a review, bad or good, these words matter."
