"We almost never write reviews this negative, but our experience at Pestana Royal All Inclusive was so disappointing—especially given the price and its advertised 5-star status—that other travelers should know what to expect.
The problems began before we arrived. Our reservation was originally booked incorrectly for dates one month after our actual trip. After a lengthy email exchange, the hotel still failed to correct it properly and omitted our fifth night. Eventually, they stopped responding. Upon arrival, the front desk offered to add the missing night—but at the newer, higher rate to correct their own error. We declined.
We booked a Premium Room advertised with an ocean view. In reality, our primary view was of a dilapidated neighboring building and construction debris, with only a small glimpse of ocean off to the side.
Our Premium Room had a king bed, queen-sized pull-out sofa and kitchenette, yet we were told it could accommodate only three people. Our family of four was therefore required to book a second room for our daughters, ages 11 and 14.
Cleanliness was nowhere near a five-star standard. Our daughters had a hairball beside their bedside table that was not theirs and remained there throughout the stay. Our room had stained furniture and carpet, soap remnants in the shower upon arrival, residue on the shower tile and a sticky toilet seat. The sofa, chairs and carpeting appeared badly in need of a deep cleaning. See the accompanying photos.
The property feels old, tired and poorly maintained. The eighth floor had a persistent foul odor reminiscent of sewage. The pool did not feel particularly clean, and towel service was surprisingly poor: essentially one towel per person, exchangeable through housekeeping when the room was cleaned.
Beach access was another unpleasant surprise. The lift and surrounding area felt sketchy, with people frequently hanging around outside and a strong smell of urine. It was nothing like the resort-style beach access we expected.
The “all-inclusive” experience was equally disappointing. Dining choices are extremely limited, with most meals consisting of a repetitive buffet that we found consistently poor in quality.
The resort advertises two specialty restaurants, although one was only open on the weekend during our stay. Over four nights, we were permitted one specialty reservation. The only available time was 9:00 p.m. When we arrived, we discovered it was essentially another buffet. We were then told the restaurant closed at 9:30 and that we needed to finish within 30 minutes before the food was cleared.
The wine and cocktails were also remarkably poor quality and, for us, practically undrinkable.
We tried to give the hotel an opportunity to address our concerns. Their website recommends contacting the property via WhatsApp, so I messaged them twice and received no response.
Someone from the hotel contacted us only after we completed a guest survey and rated our experience poorly. We specifically requested contact by email because we did not want to spend our vacation on the phone or repeatedly discussing complaints in person. That request was ignored, and we received a phone call instead. The hotel room phone connection was so poor that we could barely communicate, and we were ultimately asked to come downstairs anyway.
I do want to recognize Karina, the concierge manager, who was gracious, professional and listened to our concerns with understanding. Unfortunately, there was little she could do beyond telling us our complaints would be reported.
The biggest issue is the enormous disconnect between how this hotel is marketed and what it delivers.
If Pestana Royal were advertised and priced as a 3-star hotel, our expectations would have been very different. Instead, it prominently presents itself as a 5-star property and charges accordingly. For what we paid, the condition of the rooms, cleanliness, food, amenities and overall experience were unacceptable.
For our final night in Madeira, we moved to NEXT Hotel Madeira, where we booked a suite for less than we were paying at Pestana Royal. The difference was extraordinary—the room, cleanliness, property, atmosphere and overall experience were dramatically better.
Madeira itself was wonderful. Pestana Royal was unquestionably the low point of our trip.
Visit Madeira—but stay somewhere else."
