Quinta Pedra dos Biscos

"Arrived mid morning, check in is 4pm. They store luggage but they take it off you and give you a ticket to collect, so definitely have poolside items ready at hand if you want to enjoy your 1st day on site. Check in was easy and staff very pleasant. Room was ready early at 2pm so that was a bonus until we got to it! It was awful to be honest. I knew the whole place wasn't modernised but I mean this was from the stone age bath looked dirty, toilet seat didn't fit and the lounge area is weird no air con, only on the bedroom whichbJet2 does not stipulate. Grounds OK, but someone vomited outside my block and ot was just left for the remainder of my stay. Was also work going on, on the neighbouring block for the entire week which was very noisy starting at 8am. I thought the pool area was lovely and quiet, until Thursday arrived along with hundreds of groups of males. Who of course couldn't check in so made full use of the pool bar which btw is extortionate 11 euros for 2 small beers in plastic cups. The security man is ride I know what orecious reviews mean. He pretends he is monitoring the pool, but he really isn't and one male in one of thee groups dived I to the shallow end of the pool, I could see it happening and was almost sick when it did, luckily he just had a rather large bump but it could have been so much worse and there were a few other near misses. I could barely relax for fear of someone really injuring themselves. I know it might seem common sense but there is no signs warning no diving until a certain point and since they're selling copious amounts of alcohol to large groups all too ready to show off it is a serious accident waiting to happen. Location is OK if you want the strip which is about a 10 min walk away there isn't really anything much else next to the hotel unless yiu want burgers, pizzas and English vibes. Old town is a 50 minute walk and under 5 euros in a taxi (recommend taxis, the walk is a bit of a killer). For a lads or lasses cheap weekend away this place is probably fine, but I don't think I'd return. Oh also our block the maids were not turning up until 4pm a time I think is a bit rubbish as it's generally when people are in their room taking a nap or getting ready for the evening. Expect noise through the night on a weekend too. Especially of you end up with a full hen party occupying the other rooms on your block."

"Only Disappointment on the Holiday was we didn’t get checked in until 15:45 on the day we arrived. We booked the 2 Bedroom Apartment and there was enough space for the 4 of us. Spotlessly clean and plenty of bedding changes and towel changes during the 7 Night stay. Bits of ambient noise during the evening into the early hours but nothing that was excessive. Close to the strip but also close to Aldi. Turn right out of the hotel for a quieter life and Turn left for the noisy strip. Beaches close by and plenty of bars and restaurants to eat."

"Lifeguard who thinks he’s the most powerful man in Portugal ruins the pool experience. Fair enough if theres rules in place to stop balls/floats etc and he enforces them but keeping balls he’s confiscated as trophies is a representation of his condescending demeanour to guests of the hotel. Not only does he speak to all guest in an aggressive manner with full intent to intimidate but looks for a reason to show the power he feels. I would hate to think I was bringing childen or my wife here. Apartments are nice but all the work done by the hotel and staff is tarnished through the poor conduct of the life guard."