"I’m going to preface this (pretty lengthy!) review by saying if you don’t have kids this is absolutely NOT the resort for you. If you do have kids, particularly tricky-to-please tweens and teens, it is worth considering, but you should disregard the official ratings and manage your expectations well. While it gets some things right, there are some serious and pretty critical misses from this resort.
It’s true that our three kids - aged 9, 12 and 15 - have declared this to be the best holiday they’ve ever been on. Praise indeed from kids who’ve been lucky enough to travel around Europe, the Caribbean and the States, including Disney, several times. And it’s fair to say that this place really is paradise for kids.
The name “Neverland” is rather appropriate - it’s genuinely as if someone with an unlimited budget (but the maturity of an eight year old) has bought a piece of land in the desert and decided “let’s go large”. It’s loud, it’s garish, it’s packed with fun activities to keep the kids entertained. It’s also littered with highly questionable knock-off Disney statues and bright lights that will make you question whether your drink has been spiked. In short it’s everything tweens and teens could possibly wish for, and they will love it (and love you for booking it).
As parents, what *is* refreshing is that once you get there, it really is ALL inclusive. The water park, the surfing, the fairground, the food stands serving popcorn, candy floss, ice cream and waffles, the roller blading, and even the (genuinely amazing) VR games suite - these are all things we’d usually find ourselves having to charge to our room despite dropping several grand on the “AI”holiday itself. But unusually, none of these are paid extras at Neverland. So it’s no wonder the kids had such an amazing time.
The water park is huge, 81 slides and countless pools (some heated, some not, but the latter were bearable even in February). Each collection of 10-15 apartments has its own pool, and there’s also a massive complex of inter-connected pools at the centre of the resort. There are water slides for every age and level of thrill-seeker, as well as multiple splash pads. Despite the usual “lounger reservation” scrum from fellow guests at the crack of dawn, even in February half term, finding a spot by a pool wasn’t a problem, and the kids were kept thoroughly entertained while mum and dad kicked back and relaxed.
The pools are plagued with people trying to sell you a spa visit, but while it usually takes three “no”s to get them to move on, they will do so if you stand your ground. It can quickly become irritating and is so prevalent that the resort will supply a “do not disturb” sign if you ask (though even they seemed to be of limited efficacy).
Venturing into the on-resort marketplace is running a similar gauntlet - a momentary passing interest in the promises of “free gift!” to get you into the shop will cost even the hardiest of customer twenty minutes of their time while you get the hard, hard sell. Any attempt to try to leave is futile. Unless you want to buy overpriced trinkets, and particularly if you have nosy kids who are easily enticed at the offer of anything “free”, it’s probably best to just steer well clear.
The only exception to this is the Cold Stone Creamery - an ice cream shop where the friendly staff will often invite you behind the counter to craft your own ice cream creations, topped with brownies, Oreo’s and nuts galore. A single ice cream concoction costs about £1.50, so it’s not expensive, and worth a visit. But the hotel also has single-flavour free ice cream throughout the resort, with a rotating menu of three of four flavours a day.
The resort isn’t immediately on the coast, but a free shuttle bus will get you to the beach and back in about ten minutes. Buses run every ten minutes throughout the day so it’s a super easy and stress free experience getting there and back. When you arrive at the sister resort on the beach there are also plentiful loungers and parasols, albeit they’re pretty intensely packed. As Neverland guests you can access the bar and restaurant at the sister resort as part of your AI package, so you’ll be kept fed and watered without having to cart over bottles of water for the day. The beach is clean and the ocean is crystal clear. There are a variety of shallow paddling sections plus deeper spots for swimming and snorkelling. Even on fairly breezy days the sea was calm and ideal for children. There’s no free WiFi on the beach though, so prepare your teenagers for the devastating inconvenience.
After dark, the resort turns into a neon-lit mega-city. There are several big stages with a variety of night time entertainment for kids and adults alike. The “kids mini-disco” is a Glastonbury-esque affair, with seven foot cuddly characters dancing on stage while a crowd of toddlers and younger kids go wild. Again, somewhat reminiscent of a bad LSD trip, but will leave the kids sweaty, happy and exhausted.
At 7pm the fair comes to life and there’s a mix of rides ranging from tame to insane. Word of warning, the rides that go upside down are seriously dangerous - we ended up with very significant bruising from shoulder restraints which didn’t fit properly. Avoid these unless you want attractive purple/green/black colouring to your shoulders for the remainder of your holiday.
But for all of its excitement, for adults … honestly this is at best a 3* holiday. Think “Butlins on the Nile” and you won’t be far off. Don’t be deceived by the Water Valley / Weili / Jungle Park distinction. This is one resort. The difference is only where on that resort you sleep. The Water Valley accommodation is the most expensive and is huge - our two bedroom premium apartment had two massive bedrooms, two huge bathrooms and a separate lounge. It was clean, but tired and very basic. It’s also a good 10-15 minute walk from the nearest restaurant, although there are regular “party buses” that will shuttle you around the massive site if you’re feeling tired, and the distance does at least mean the rooms are quiet. The beds are very firm, but the aircon keeps the rooms to a comfortable temperature. The WiFi reaches the room and is OK for texting and basic internet browsing, but can be hit and miss at times and certainly isn’t strong enough for playing online games or streaming. We had a kettle in our room plus a variety of teas, but no coffee. (If you need a caffeine hit first thing, pack your own.) But honestly, unless you’re a big family, or planning on spending a lot of time in your room, you may as well choose cheaper accommodation under the Jungle Park brand. It’s literally same holiday.
The service around the resort is warm and friendly but … pretty hopeless. We arrived at 11pm to find we only had beds made up for only 4 out of our party of 5. We spent an hour chasing reception before giving up and having one of the kids in our bed for the night. We also spent whole days without any towels in the apartment, making showering interesting! Calls to reception were met with sincere apologies and multiple promises of towels arriving “in twenty minutes” but despite this, they never arrived.
But the food and drink is where this resort is most significantly let down. All restaurants are buffet-style, but probably better described as “canteen-style”. There were no bookable, à la carte options at all during our stay. The quality of the food is mediocre, and the variety is very poor. Lines can be long, service is slow, and even off-peak season it was giving “school dinners”. Every restaurant seemed to have a staple base offering of pizza, nuggets, chips, pasta and salad at every meal, but we barely saw a cooked vegetable all week. Even the most epi-curious in our group survived the week on a diet heavily featuring chips, pizza and bread rolls. No one got sick, admittedly, but that’s a pretty low bar, particularly for a 5* holiday, and probably the most complimentary we could be. Worth a special mention is the burger restaurant, which I’d suggest you should avoid at all costs. On arrival you’re given a paper slip to make your choice - the extensive options comprised simply “chicken or beef”. (That said, I suspect the meat % content in neither reached double figures.) Our group had a mix of the two and both were truly the worst burgers I’ve ever tasted. I’ve genuinely had better tasting burgers from a dirty burger van outside the student union after a night out. There’s ketchup but no mayo (an in-the-know family at the table next to us were spotted whipping a bottle of Hellmans out of their bag for their chips!)
As for drinks, the quality and selection was again shockingly poor. If 5* to you involves a lobby bar with a cocktail, a whiskey or a Baileys before bed, brace yourself. All bars had a choice of what they called vodka, rum, gin or whiskey; though none bore any relation to anything any sane person would recognise by those names. They also had beer, soft drinks and fruit juices, but nothing else. All drinks were local brands, with no international or recognisable brands available at all (even for an additional cost). On our first night my husband ordered a rum and coke for himself, plus a couple of cokes for the kids. His was served with approx 40% of the cup being filled with rum, but it was completely impossible to tell by smell or taste which had the “alcohol” in. Seemingly the rum retails at about £3 a litre in local shops, which is, frankly, overpriced. And for heaven’s sake stay well clear of the “cocktails”. I had the misfortune to try a piña colada, which always has the potential to be a bit hit and miss, but which was bad enough I had to spit it out. (When I later watched one being made by pouring pineapple juice, dark / spiced “rum”, UHT skimmed milk and sprite into a paper cup, all became nausiatingly clear.) After the first night we stuck to beer all holiday, which was drinkable, but again, not what we’d expect from a “5* resort”. If you like a drink in the evening, do yourself a favour and pick up a bottle of your favourite tipple from duty free on the way out. But on a more positive note, bottled water was readily available, which I know isn’t the case in all Egyptian resorts.
All in all, it was an “interesting” holiday, but not one we would return to. Is this a 5* resort? Not a chance. Not even close. I’d give it 3* for the accommodation and a generous 2* for the food and drink. But will it elevate you to “best parents ever” status with your pre-teen and teen kids? Undoubtedly. Seemingly the search for a resort that caters to the kids without completely compromising our own comfort continues."
